You can't escape yourself
We can learn a lot from the pain Peter felt after Good Friday, argues Liam Husband.
As a pastor, I’ve learned a few things about life and people.
And one clear lesson is that in moments when we feel powerless, lost and afraid we are inclined to run away. All we want is some familiarity, a safe space that we know.
In these moments we can easily go back to old patterns and old thinking.
The easy thing is to go back rather than keep fighting and walking forward.
When life throws chaos our way we tend to run away, and all we want is to find some kind of comfort.
In the Easter story, after leaving Jesus on the cross, Peter and his mates have gone back to what they know. They don’t need to be around Jerusalem right now; they are drawn back to the sea, where they belong. It’s what they know.
Maybe it was in a boat back on the lake where he was comfortable that Peter was hoping to find answers.
Maybe he was trying to forget, trying to shake off the years with Jesus, the lessons of life picked up from him. Maybe he was trying to shake off the guilt of rejecting him.
But here’s another lesson I’ve learned – wherever you go you take yourself with you. You can’t escape yourself.
And Peter couldn’t escape all he had experienced alongside Jesus.
There was no way his rickety old boat was going to cause the impact of the cross to fall away.
No doubt the loudest questions echoing around his mind were: Who was Jesus? Who am I? What just happened? What’s next?
I’ve learned that we all ask ourselves those same questions time and time again.
We are all looking for our place, searching for some understanding, and moments of upheaval seem to accentuate the search. Moments of sorrow and loss leave us asking questions and fishing in the murky waters of uncertainty.
Peter is living in the pain of Good Friday, reliving the last supper when Jesus comes and speaks with the same authority: “You have no fish.”
This is Jesus asking them how the evening’s fishing has been. He’s reminding them of where they are in their lives. There are no fish, there is no answer for you here. This isn’t the way forward. You will find nothing of value coming back here.
In life, we all have moments when we start fishing on the wrong side of the boat.
Jesus makes a point to direct them where to put their nets: “Cast them over the other side.”
That little action is almost symbolic of where they stand in the Easter story. No longer searching in the despair of Good Friday but experiencing life in the resurrection.
And, like the disciples, Jesus calls all of us into the hope of the resurrection.
No longer with empty nets, the disciples find an abundance. The darkness is lifted to a new day.
The last supper they were all part of has become the first breakfast. A fresh new start with the resurrected Jesus is the reality of Easter.
The pain is real but the greater reality is Jesus calling us: “Follow me, live as people of the resurrection.”
He encourages us to throw our nets on the other side of the boat. To find life in a different place. To find life in the resurrection.
This article first appeared in the April 2022 issue of Direction, Elim’s monthly magazine. Subscribe now to get Direction delivered directly to your home.
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